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parasocial

by Bishop Ivy

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1.
parasocial 04:03
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[Verse 1] I can’t see out my windows at night The lights just fog up For all I know, the argument outside is just my mind We watch the silhouette circle our bed You pull the covers over my head [Pre-chorus] Oh, I never thought I’d (thought I’d, thought I’d) Become my own lover (lover, lover) If I could I’d hold you But I’d just cross my arms At least you’ll stay with me and brace another day [Chorus] I’ll be my flower I’ll be my flower An illusion that I say to save myself I’ll be my flower I’ll be my flower It’s a nuisance that I can’t get quite as high At least I’ll stay with me and brace another day [Verse 2] I can’t rely that my past lover would like me But despite this, I surrendered my serenity for the chance she might approve my improvements But lately, I’ve just decided I should like me [Pre-chorus] Oh, I never thought I’d (thought I’d, thought I’d) Become my own lover (lover, lover) If I could I’d hold you But I’d just cross my arms At least you’ll stay with me and brace another day [Chorus] I’ll be my flower I’ll be my flower An illusion that I say to save myself I’ll be my flower I’ll be my flower It’s a nuisance that I can’t get quite as high At least I’ll stay with me and brace another day [Bridge] Perhaps it’s only changing of the name Does it matter if the feeling’s still the same? Obsessed with whatever fills the hole Parasocial and obsessed with loving ghosts.
2.
STAND UP 03:27
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[Verse 1] Yes I mind, you let them stride all over - I can’t who’s on my side I won’t say this I won’t do that It’s on my blood It’s on my gut, if I had one I’ve wondered why my alibi’s not adding up When I cry that I don’t mind her moving on I know that now it was never about her I know it’s my ceiling that I fell through [Chorus] Taking my path and I’m taking over It’s not an attack, not sorry I won’t say this I won’t do that It’s on my blood It’s on my gut, if I had one [Post-Chorus] I think I might be worth fighting for Like, like, like, like maybe I could stand up I think I might be worth fighting for Like, like, like, like maybe I should stand - [Verse 2] Yes I care, you let me pair with shutting up It’s not fair, now I resent the ones I love I know that now that a ‘no’ is not fighting I know it’s both of our backs that I’m knifing I can only ever compromise I’m giving all my timing, wasting all my time, losing all my - I always thought that I didn’t deserve it I always thought that they weren’t my moments [Chorus] Taking my path and I’m taking over It’s not an attack, not sorry I won’t say this I won’t do that It’s on my blood It’s on my gut, if I had one [Post-Chorus] I think I might be worth fighting for Like, like, like, like maybe I could stand up I think I might be worth fighting for Like, like, like, like maybe I should stand up [Bridge] Lie, and rely I just hide from my pride Always apologize like there’s red dot lights [Chorus] Taking my path and I’m taking over It’s not an attack, not sorry I won’t say this I won’t do that It’s on my blood It’s on my gut, if I had one [Post-Chorus] I think I might be worth fighting for Like, like, like, like maybe I could stand up I think I might be worth fighting for Like, like, like, like maybe I should stand up [Outro Scene] Oh, I forgot, it was the - This 2 timer’s giving me anxiety, 2 seconds… (camera beeps) oh!
3.
the park 03:59
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[Verse 1] You know the hardest pill to swallow was the state we ended on All the times we really bonded, for months they had been gone I waited till my grip would slip I waited till my knees would give I was never one to speak much Well, listen to me now [Chorus] Even though I know you’re gone I still wander in the park I locked myself inside the garden And I tell myself “It’s almost over” (I can only think twice) “It’s almost over” (And I don’t know why) Even though I know you’re gone I still wander in the park [Verse 2] Broke up in December Is it really May? Exactly where I started Dreaming of the same I never could forget your voice Even if I had a choice Every night I have to relive the photos I deleted [Chorus] Even though I know you’re gone I still wander in the park I locked myself inside the garden And I tell myself “It’s almost over” (I can only think twice) “It’s almost over” (And I don’t know why) Even though you’re really gone I still wander in the park Even though I know you’re gone I still wander in the park I locked myself inside the garden And I tell myself “It’s almost over” (I can only think twice) “It’s almost over” (And I don’t know why) Even though I know you’re gone I still wander in the park (the park, the park) [Bridge] Used to want to go back, but I’m past that If I could, I’d slow down. Now, I’m stuck in the mud While you seem to be back on your feet I try to make myself feel better on a beat Tired of feeling I’m so unappealing Looking in the mirror like my eyes might freeze me Acting like it’d all change if you’d just see me Mentality as if I’m still teething If I waste more time, then I’m only older And my eyes stay dry, but they’re drooping lower Did I really have to swallow the key? ‘Cause to bring it up now, I might have to bleed [Chorus] I can only think twice Even though I know you’re gone, I still wander in-
4.
CAN'T IMAGINE 02:57
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[Verse 1] Sleeping on the train In the Monday morning rain Drifting in and out of dreams I’m different when I’m down I’ll go off alone in town Only one to see me frown [Chorus] Can’t imagine I could live without a friend And be alone somehow again We’re to the end Always have and always been [Verse 2] Surprised by the sight Of the way I used to cry Was so much darker at the time I don’t recognize the fire That was set alight inside How could I not want my life? [Chorus] Can’t imagine I could live without a friend And be alone somehow again We’re to the end Always have and always been I can’t imagine I could spend some time away From what I thought was a mistake We stay the same Only one I’d ever blame [Verse 3] At least I don’t miss me like I’m gone ‘Cause I know I’m never far I’ll be my shelter in the dark Thinking when I brush my teeth It’s not so bad what I see Staring back at me
5.
tunnel vision 03:45
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[Verse 1] Running beside the train you ride I’ll bear cuts and scars But still clutch my arm [Chorus] I’ll throw away the world If that’s what makes it work Don’t you know it’s all I have and all I’ll ever know? So please stay, please stay [Post-Chorus] How could I stand tall With no one to break my fall? And if my helmet breaks Would I care to erase my pain? [Verse 2] Songs from our time changed their chime Notes stay the same Passions fade [Chorus] I’ll throw away the world If that’s what makes it work Don’t you know it’s all I have and all I’ll ever know? So please stay, please stay [Post-Chorus] How could I stand tall With no one to break my fall? And if my helmet breaks Would I care to erase my pain? [Verse 3] Still in my dreams, we didn’t leave Was that your voice or my own ploy?

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released October 15, 2021

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Bishop Ivy Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

meet me at the park ✧ *ਃ ◟݅ ◎

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